God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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