Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
