If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
