and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
