I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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