It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
