i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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