I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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