I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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