I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
