you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
