I'm sorry my penis didn't work
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
