ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
