i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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