To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
