New invention idea: vibrating tampons
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
