Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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