Tell her she can't have a vagina
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
