oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
