Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
