dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
