my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
