he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
