I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
