i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
