Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
