I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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