if i died would you start the facebook group?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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