Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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