drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
