You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize