I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
