i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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