I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
