Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
