It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
