Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
