What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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