My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize