There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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