There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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