Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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