he thought i was a dude.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
