My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This baby is an asshole
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
