Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
