i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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