We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
