that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She told me I should be a condom model.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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