I feel like abortions should bother me more
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
