piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
