Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
