I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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