If i come over, it means nothing
i think my mom watched the whole time
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
