Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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