What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize