I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
where are my eyebrows?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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