You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
