she was so not down for the gang bang
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
