That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
