Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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