she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
