Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
