I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
