im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
