Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Can you bring me the toilet please
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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