Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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