i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
