that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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