Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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