We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize