I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
